"To Exist is To Change....

To change is to mature, to mature is to go on recreating oneself endlessly.” Henry Bergson, French Philosopher.

Change is an inevitable part of being human both at a personal level and within our environment. The problem occurs when we only focus on the end result of the change and ignore the period of transition. For change to occur we have to acknowledge an ending and to accept and sometimes ‘grieve’ for that ending. Naturally we then need to come to terms with what has ended and explore our new reality before we can be accepting of that change. This period of transition takes longer for some and can be revisited several times before change can occur.

This is important to acknowledge when considering a career move or when implementing change within your organisation. This is a time of questioning, experimenting with ideas and often a time of disorientation. You may question whether you have made the right decision, are you competent enough for the new role? How will this affect my relationships? In organisations this is the time people often quit to try and navigate back to something familiar or will try and hold onto the old which slows the process of change.

As part of the coaching process we work with our clients to bring the transition period into their awareness and to help them acknowledge their feelings. We understand that this process is different for each and everyone of us. Sometimes in a coaching session we can uncover a limiting belief that has been part of who you are for many years and letting go of it and replacing it will something new is a significant change and transition. When working with teams we ensure that people discuss their fears and questions about change and to understand that others will move through the transition period differently dependant on their own individual experiences.

Only when we can let go of the past, allow time to reflect and make sense of the change can we then accept the new and move forward positively.

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I feel like someone is going to find out that I am really not as good as people think I am....

It is something that many really successful people secretly think but rarely discuss but is more common than you may imagine. It is an internal experience of feeling that you will be exposed as a fraud and contributes to strong feelings of self doubt. It is known as imposter syndrome. If you recognise this in yourself don’t worry research suggests that up to 70% of adults have experienced this feeling at some point in their lives.

It is not a mental illness or condition but more a phenomenon that as a positive drives you to achieve more and more to prove to yourself and to others and as a negative can be self destructive, lead to low self esteem and eventually burn out. It is common in individuals with perfectionist personalities, those that had overly critical parents and conversely those with over protective parents. Sometimes there can be an undiscovered trigger that has set these thoughts in motion. It results in a faulty thinking pattern of your personal perception of success and failure.

The good news is many successful people experience this and there are positive strategies to overcome these thoughts and feelings to unlock your true self. Coaching can help uncover the trigger for these feelings by discovering your limiting beliefs of success and failure and help you to develop healthier thought patterns and beliefs.

Written by Jayne Everson

Copyright © The Thought Partners 2018

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